The second best thing to happen to me this year

Recently, I've been seriously thinking about quitting grad school.  The amount of trouble I've been having figuring out my shit has been unreal.  Earlier in the summer, I would joke about how I was emotionally unstable because of grad school and blah blah blah.  That can't even compare to the shit that I've been going through over the past couple of weeks.  I have been bat-shit crazy, unhinged.  I scare the shit out of myself, imagine what everyone else thinks!!  I'm talking crying episodes for no reason, general paranoia about everything, and acting very rude to people in public.  I've come to the conclusion that my behavior is the result of several factors which can be seen below: 

• I can't figure out my thesis shit, which means that I'm still stuck in Pittsburgh, which means that I have to continue to mooch off of my friends, which means that I have to sleep on a couch and live out of a suitcase. 
• My funds are rapidly approaching zero and I've started having to use my credit card.  Using my credit card would be no problem except for the fact that I have no idea when I'm ever going to see a pay check again.  I've applied for 1,000,000 jobs and nothing has come from it.  This means that I'm going to be stuck in my parents house (if I ever make it there) for way too long.  A.J. and I need to get out of there and get our own place.  
• MY CAR SMELLS LIKE A TERD COVERED IN BURNT HAIR!!!  A.J.'s mini fridge was unplugged with a piece of chicken inside of it.  It sat for several weeks fermenting.  I discovered it with the hopes of lugging it out to my car to bring home (whenever that is) and almost ralphed when I smelled what was inside.  I cleaned the entire thing, inside and out, with clorox clean-up only to discover that didn't do a damn thing.  I dragged the thing outside to air out for a few days.  Two days later, I returned to check on it.  It still smelled and I cleaned it with bleach again. I had to put it in my car because it was going to rain.  I couldn't put it back in the house because it made the entire house smell.  Several bruises later, I had the fridge in my car.  Now the thing is just sitting in my car in the hot hot sun, all day every day, stinking and making me gag every time I get in the car.  Don't forget!!!!  My car has no air conditioning!!  Meghan somehow jewed me out of the Grand Am and I'm stuck driving around in a car that is hot as balls and has a rotten refrigerator inside of it.  Hey Meg, if you read this, I'm coming for the grand am, watch out!!
• The battery of my laptop is completely fried and I'm not able to move my computer anywhere unless I shut down the entire thing.  This is only a minor annoyance, at least the thing still works. 

AND THEN I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!!!!

Here is the story.  

I'm sitting in my office talking on the phone to A.J. (who is a saint for putting up with me for all of this shit) and complaining about the bulleted items above.  

I was trying out some new thing that my advisor had told me to do.  I had zero faith that it would work because nothing has worked out for me pretty much since I started grad school.  So I'm sitting there doing my thing and then I saw it.  I had made a mistake when calculating a value that was crucial to what I was doing.  At first, I was in disbelief.  Could this be the mistake?  Is this what has wasted my time for 2 weeks?????  I MUST KNOW!!!!

As soon as I think that I might have found the reason why all of shit was so fucked up, Excel decided it's going to auto save all 3 of the files that I have open.  Since they are huge files, I sat there and waited for 20 min.  It seemed like forever. 

Finally, excel quit being a bitch, and I was able to discover that my program worked beautifully.  In a nutshell, this is what I was doing.  I was comparing predicted values to measured values so that I could say that my model is legit.  Basically if someone asked me, "Hey, how do we know that any of the shit you created is for real?"  And then I'll say, "This is how!!!!!!"

I show them that I got everything under control because my shit is validated.  

What does all of this mean??  It means that from now on, everything that I do is not going to be a waste of time.  I know what I'm doing, I got it all figured out.  It's just a matter of doing it. Each simulation takes 30 min and I have to do probably 200 of them.  So it's going to take some time.  But I'm getting there.  

Once I realized what I had done and what it means.  I about shit my pants.  I was so freaking excited, I couldn't contain my happiness.  

There you have it.  The second best thing that has happened to me this year.

Still stuck in Pittsburgh

At the moment, I am stuck in Pittsburgh for an unknown amount of time.  I don't want to speculate on how long I will be here because I've been saying "not much longer" for months and I'm still here.  I'm doing the best that I can and working hard.  I'll be done when I'm done.

My last blog I said that we had booked the photographer.  What I actually meant was that I had found a photographer.  The photographer is actually booked now.  We signed a contract and everything.  Holy shit!! We're on our way!

We have also picked the color scheme.  It's going to be aqua and red.  It looks really nice, check it out!

As of today, we picked the song for our first dance, but I think I'm going to keep it a secret for now.  I can tell you that it might be "Total Eclipse of the Heart".  You're all just going to have to wait and find out.

Next on the list for me is to think about flowers I guess?  I really have no idea the order in which things should be done.  My approach has been to take care of the big stuff and then work my way to the details.  Hopefully A.J. can pay a visit to the manor in the next week so we can figure out what we're doing about music.  I think that we've decided that we're definitely NOT doing a band.  We want to create a playlist for the entire night and just have someone be the M.C.  I love my music and dancing so I don't think I would entrust the fun of the entire night to a D.J. playing random shit.

One of the first things that we did is think of a guest list so we would have a rough idea of how many people we were going to invite.  Then we booked our venue and that guest list needs to be cut in half or else we're never going to be able to recover from the debt.  Just kidding!  But seriously, if you're thinking about whether or not you want to come, just don't come.  I probably don't like you anyway.

Eventually I'll have to start trying on wedding dresses.  I've already been looking and I was thinking something along the lines of this:

Photography...this is getting serious

Holy shit...we booked the photographer.  There's no backing out now.  This thing is happening.  I booked Nina Perini for photography.  Check out her stuff here if you're really interested.  I suggest you wait until we do our engagement session though.  Who likes looking at people they don't know being all romantic and mushy?  Certainly not me.

I chose her because she was reasonably priced, had great pictures and included all of the goodies that I want in the package.  This includes an engagement session which will be happening some time soon I hope.  I hope October at the latest.  A.J. and I are ridiculously white and so we want to still be somewhat tan for the pictures.  There's nothing worse than the instant gag reflex when looking at pictures of yourself.

I plan on following these guidelines to make myself look good.


Stay tuned for the next chapter in the wedding planning!  Until then, it's time for A.J. to find a DJ  (hey it rhymes!).  The entire fun of the night rests in his hands.  Let's hope he does a super job!!

Things that suck

1. Severely burned my scalp down the shore and now have a serious dandruff problem.  


(So i tried to find a picture to put here.....don't EVER  google image "burnt scalp".  The nastiest shit just came up and now I feel dirty)


2. Being fat and lazy.  I swear on my life I am never going to be out of shape again.  The soreness felt from working out after not working out for months on end is unbearable and I do it to myself all the time.  I get on these kicks where I work out non-stop for a few weeks and then I stop for 6 months.  I started working out again on Monday and I am so sore!!!!!!  I have to hold on to the walls when I sit down to take a piss.  I waddle down the street.  It hurts putting my arms over my head to put my shirt on. I think that this pain is enough motivation to never get out of shape again.  I've been watching a lot of "Losing it with Jillian Michaels" show to keep myself motivated.  The people on that show are always so pathetic and worthless and it gives me inspiration.  Like I need any more after seeing that picture recently taken of me in a bikini.  I almost threw up. 


3. Living in a dorm with no key.  My current residence is the ΔΓ house at CMU.  I don't have a key so I am always at the mercy of someone else for being let in. There are some things that I don't miss about college, especially living in dorms.  They all smell the same, it's weird.  Where I'm staying looks something like this.

4. My left ear has been clogged since July 24th.  The first day the pain was unbearable and since then, it is just annoying and sometimes painful.  I probably should go to a doctor, but I just don't feel like it.  


5. Why the fuck is wedding photography so expensive????   We started looking at photographers....holy shit!!!  The prices are outrageous!  "You can't put a price on your memories.  The photos will last forever."  blah blah blah.  FUCK ALL OF YOU!


6. Driving around in a car with no a/c.  Every time I drive anywhere I have to deal with gross back and ass sweat soaking through my clothes.  

7. Not having any money.  Please god someone find me a job!!!!!!!!!!!!

Planning a wedding is going to be super fun.....right?

I've been engaged for 6 months and in that time I have set a date for the wedding, chosen a venue, chosen my wedding party, contracted an invitation designer and figured out who is going to do my hair.  The date is 405 days away and I am way behind on most things.  Ideally, every last detail would have been planned and finalized yesterday, but I figured that I would take my time and attempt to enjoy a few things.    SARCASM!

Is it possible to plan a large wedding and enjoy yourself at the same time?  Does anyone else think that half of the "traditional" wedding customs are totally retarded?  Maybe I'm crazy, (and it is quite possible) but if one more person looks at me like I have tits growing out of my forehead when I tell them that I haven't chosen the colors yet, I am going to give them a crabby patty.

I understand that everyone gets excited about weddings and wants to offer wisdom about what was fucked up in their own wedding and perhaps, momentarily think back to their own wedding, which is quite possibly the only time they had a  "happy marriage."  The only thing that pisses me off are the reactions that I get when I give answers that aren't satisfactory to the person that asked them.  My favorite is when people tell me that I don't seem to be too excited about the wedding when the reality is that I'm just not excited to be listening to the bullshit coming out of their mouths.

It felt good to get that off of my chest.  Let's back up for a moment.  I am beyond thrilled to be engaged.  I can't wait to get married. I think that the day of the wedding might be the best day of my life (unless I get picked to be on Wheel of Fortune, ofcourse).

That being said, I have decided to blog about the wedding planning process.  There are several reasons for this:

• I haven't been blogging recently
• I think it has the potential to be really funny
• It will give everyone the opportunity to immerse themselves in every detail of the wedding (which will hopefully cut down on face time)
• It will be a place for me to get out frustrations so I don't go ape-shit and turn in to some psycho bridezilla

Contrary to popular belief, I have looked in to and have ideas for almost every aspect of the wedding.  I have a wedding website which is in its infant stages and should hopefully be launched soon.

Let's recap the items which are complete:

Groom-  A.J.
Date- 9/4/11
Venue- Spring Mill Manor (which incldues ceremony, reception, food, cake, and ice luge for shots)
Wedding Party- Korynn, my sisters and Mandy
Invitation Designer- Uncle
Hair Stylist- Skip
Colors- some kind of blue and some kind of orange/pink

All questions/comments about any of the items mentioned above can be directed to my fabulous fiancé.  He is more than happy to discuss anything wedding related.

Alright that should do it for now, I'm off to the gym so that I can lose some weight.  As my lovely grandfather said (while grabbing my love-handles), "You better lose some weight if you want to fit into a wedding dress."  Aren't old people cute??

***To find out what a crabby patty is, ask dick boy.  Or check urban dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/author.php?author=Ragin+Kagin

UPDATE: Victory is mine! (sort of)

Good news:  I have found the perfect combination of food that give me horrible smelling gas.

Bad news: I have horrible stomach pains and explosive diarrhea.

More bad news:  AJ has a cold and can't smell anything.

So what is the secret to my success???  Here is what I ate today, although I'm pretty sure it's only the food that I ate tonight that sealed the deal.

Breakfast:  10 a.m. I had a bacon, egg and cheese from Panera on an Asiago bagel with a medium coffee (cream and sugar)

Lunch: 3:15 p.m.  AJ gave me half of a ham and swiss sandwich from Panera

Dinner:  5:30 ish    Here is where I went for the kill.  I had about 5 or 6 small green peppers left over from Duke's garden and about 5 large white mushrooms.  I chopped up the mushrooms and sautéed them in olive oil and sprinkled on some garlic and seasoned salt.  It was enough to fill an entire plate and I finished all of them.  We all know how much I love mushrooms.  I chopped up the peppers into slices and roasted them in the oven.  They were also doused in olive oil with garlic sprinkled on them.  I ate ALL of the peppers.  Combine that with 2 bites of chicken and 2 glasses of apple cider.

About 20 minutes ago, I had some serious stomach pains and some serious gas to go along with that.  It is rancid!  It's ok that AJ can't smell anything, I now have the recipe and that's all that matters!

This is going to be me one day

Revenge is a dish best served with sulfur

For the past few days I have been trying to cook up some smelly ass farts.  Farts that are stinky enough to clear a room.  In order to accomplish this task, I have been doing some research about what makes farts smell.  Here are some of the tidbits that I found.


The gas in our intestines comes from several sources:

• air that we swallow
• gas that seeps into our intestines from our blood
• gas that is produced from chemical reactions in our guts
• gas that is produced from bacteria that lives in our guts

The gases that are produced by the bacteria are the ones that smell the most (which are the ones that I am particularly interested in producing).

So what makes farts stink??
The odor of farts come from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and some other things that I have no idea about.  The point is that all of these beautiful smells contain sulfur.  The more sulfur rich your diet is, the more bacteria in your gut, the more smelly your farts are going to be.

What can you eat to give you smelly gas?

• cauliflower
• eggs
• meat
• onions
• garlic
• brussel sprouts
• broccoli
• kale
• wheat germ

Hmmmm.....now I know why my mother is notorious for her anal acoustics.  Anyways, is anyone surprised that beans aren't on the list?  Beans have been given a bad wrap for years for giving people smelly gas.  Beans will make your farts loud, not smelly.  So for some fun times eat beans!  For revenge, don't eat beans!

Whose farts smell worse?  Men or women?

There have been SCIENTIFIC STUDIES that prove that women's farts smell worse then men's.  But men's farts are louder than women's.  Fantastic!

Finally, what is the point of this blog?


I have been victimized one too many times by AJ's farts.  He farts on me, he farts near me, he farts in my general direction.  He farts in the grocery store and makes lettuce wilt.  While I am unable to prevent these things from happening, I can concoct some of my own to get even, maybe even surpass his gas.  My first real attempt was tonight.  I ate 4 eggs and washed it down with a big glass of milk and the only thing that has come out of my ass has been little whisps of air.  BULLSHIT!  I need to get serious here.

Here is the plan:

1. I'm going to concoct the ultimate fart food.  I don't have the details panned out yet since I just decided this 5 minutes ago, but rest assured I will keep you posted.  
2. I will eat this food on Friday night followed by consuming a lot of beer. 
3. I'm going to eat the food for breakfast again on saturday morning.  So now I have the food from Friday night, the beer, and the saturday morning breakfast.  Don't ask me how beer is going to help in the fart making process.  I just have a feeling that it's going to work.  
4. After breakfast on Saturday, I'm going to WV with AJ to go to something called the buckwheat festival.  I'll be in the car with him for 2 hours where he has no where to escape from my horrific gas.  This brings new meaning to the term "hot box". 

I know what you're all thinking.  "This is really fucked up"  The only response I have to that is "I'm a Gatti"  If this blog disgusts you in anyway then you should reconsider our friendship.  I think that people who don't think farts are funny are fucked up.  So there.  As a final thought, someone had suggested to me to buy a can of fart gas.  While this may sound potentially fun and easier than eating all of those nasty ass foods, it's not the answer.  Half of the fun of making smelly farts is smelling them.  I like how my farts smell and you do too, don't lie.

Vote!

Let's discuss this picture.

1. He's wearing a stone cold steve austin shirt with the sleeves cut off.

2. He's holding valvoline in one hand and depends in the other.

3. What's with the hair?

4. He's browsing the hamburger helper

5. Are those spandex shorts?

5. This is in a Walmart in Canada, not somewhere like Mississippi like I expected

This might be one of the best I've seen on people of walmart since the picture has so many added dimensions.  It's not just some lady with no pants on or a kid being dragged around on a leash.  This photo has some serious depth.

Please respond to the poll, do I have an unhealthy obsession with peopleofwalmart.com?

Apprehensive about the G-20

The G-20 is coming to Pittsburgh next week for those who live in a hole and didn't know about it.  My first reaction when I found out about it was a good one.  I was excited that Pittsburgh was chosen out of all of the other cities that were in the running.  Even though I'm not from Pittsburgh, I have a lot of pride in the city because I think it's great.  


However, now that the G-20 is only a week away, I'm pretty anxious about it.  I'm not afraid for my own personal safety because you can't pay me to go downtown next week.  I think I'm pretty safe going from Squirrel Hill to Oakland, if I go to Oakland at all.  I may just work from home.  I'm afraid for the city, the people who work downtown and the law enforcement.  I've heard some pretty crazy things over the past few weeks from the radio, newspapers, word of mouth and websites of people protesting the G-20.  I was confused at first because I thought why are there going to be protesters at the G-20?  I didn't think it was something that was extremely conrtoversial.  But then I realized that since the G-20 is an international stage, people are going to protest anything and everything just so that their voices will be heard.  There are estimates that say 50,000 people are expected to show up and protest. 


I'm afraid that the entire city is going to get trashed from all of these people being here.  Downtown Pittsburgh is 0.64 square miles.  That's nothing!  It's about 1/6 the size of Center City Philadelphia ( I did the math).  Where are all of these people going to fit?  I heard on the radio that since all of the hotel rooms are booked that people are going to try and camp out in Schenley Park or at The Point.  Both of those places are way too nice to have a bunch of dirty squatters mess it up.  Plus, you're not allowed to camp there anyway.  I head that there is going to be a parking lot set up somewhere in the Strip District for them to hang out.  Well what are they going to do at night?  


I'm worried about the people who work downtown because they're going to have to deal with so much bullshit just to get to work.  Traffic, protestors, possibly getting hit with balloons full of raw sewage, etc.  I also feel bad for people who have to commute into downtown or Oakland.  Traffic is going to suck!!!  It sucks anyway and I can't imagine the G-20 making it any better.  


Finally, I'm concerned about the law enforcement officials who have to deal with all of the crazies coming to Pittsburgh.  I hope they're all getting paid some extra scratch for their effort.


I know that the last G-20 that was held in London had only peaceful protests and everything turned out ok.  But I'm still worried because that was London, a huge international city.  This is Pittsburgh, a small city.  Plus a lot of people in this country scare the shit out of me.  I have a feeling that I'm going to be staring at giant posters of dead babies all week from those freaking stupid abortion people.  I haven't seen them yet this year so they're probably waiting until next week. 


Need more spray paint to huff!!!

The weather has changed

Okay everybody, the weather has changed because I am having some serious sinus issues. This happens every year and that's how I know it's fall.  The day started out with sneezing, runny nose and a pressure headache which turned into an afternoon nap and a fever.  AJ made me some grilled cheese with tomato soup and I went to rite aid to buy some sinus medicine.  I just took it and it's supposed to make me drowsy, so I hope that I drift off soon and don't wake up until tomorrow.  




Funny foreigner moment:  As most of you know, I spend day in and day out with people from countries all over the world and I love them all very much.  However, sometimes things happen that make me laugh my ass off and reaffirm my belief that the English language is deceiving and convoluted. 


 My advisor told one of my colleagues:  "hey do me a favor and see if this floppy disk works and if it doesn't toss it"    


The disk didn't work, so what does my colleague do? Take a guess.  Does he:


a) throw the floppy disk away
b) toss it into the air


Ofcourse the answer is b.  I saw him tossing a floppy disk into the air and he told me the whole story and I thought it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.  Yay for foreigners!

Look at this nugget!

Biggest loser starts tonight!

This is a very exciting week to be sitting on the couch and watching tv.

Monday: First Monday night football games of the season and the premiere of the Jay Leno show (which was hilarious)

Tuesday: Biggest loser!!! I fucking love that show. If I ever have a Tuesday night where I don't have to wake up on Wednesday morning and be somewhere I have a really good drinking game planned for the show. I think that if you took a shot every time someone shed some tears you would be annihilated by the time the show was over.

Wednesday: I don't think anything exciting is on Wednesday that I'm interested in, but I guess Jay Leno is always on, score!

Thursday: The office and It's always sunny in Philadelphia. I'm not sure which I like more, It's always sunny or the biggest loser. I guess both tap different emotions in me so it's not really fair to compare them. But rest assured my eyes will be glued to the screen for both shows. I'm also considering watching the show called Community only because it has Chevy Chase and I love everything else that he's done.

Friday: What ever happened to TGIF?

I'm still laughing my ass off at this one.  I'm kind of curious what it looks like from the front.

Major decisions

Does anyone still read this thing? Probably not since I haven't posted since April. I want to say that I am going to start blogging again, but I can't make any promises. Major events have happened since the last time I blogged and other things are coming up fast and I can't wait for them to happen.

1. AJ moved in with me
2. We got a kitten and named him Hank
3. We bought a brand new bed

Hmmm...seems like things are getting pretty serious! So far none of those decisions have come back to bite me in the ass (except that Hank sometimes actually bites me in the ass) so I will call all of my life changes a success. Here's a picture of our Hanky



He loves yarn! He also likes getting his asshole licked by Tico.


Ok that one is kind of scary, so here is one that will make you go awwww

Awwwwww

Some events that are quickly approaching:

1. My graduation date is actually in sight right now and it is April 2010.
2. I am moving back to Holland, Pa to live in my parents house. I plan on rennovating the basement and making it my own apartment. I have no plans to leave :)
3. I have to start looking for a job! This scares the shit out of me, but I think I'll be ok since my resume after grad school is pretty bitchin. So I hope to make some serious bank.
4. I signed up to take the FE Exam in October and I've been studying my balls off for that.

Some current projects that I am working on:

1. Nick and I built a bed frame yesterday and now I have to sand and stain it to finish it up. Nick was the brains and muscle behind the operation and I'm going to be the one who makes it look pretty.
2. Along with that I need to get a bed skirt and some matching sheets so that it doesn't look stupid. I already made a duvet cover so I'll just match it to that.
3. Finish my yarn scraps blanket. I've been making some serious progress lately so hopefully that will get wrapped up.
4. I'm actually going to finish those goddamn stockings that I've been working on for almost 3 years. The goal (as it was last year) is to finish them and get them up by Christmas.
5. Make matching pillow cases for my duvet cover.


Since People of Walmart is my new favorite site, I am going to start putting up some favorites.

100% should not be bloging right now

It's been so long!!!!!!!!! As soon as this semester is over, a.k.a. this week, I will be blogging once more. I just have to share this one story which I'm considering posting on fmylife.com Here goes:

I put jellybeans down my boyfriends underwear the other night and today I accidentally ate them. FML.

hot mess

Last night was a huge fucking mess. Why? Because I'm a huge fucking mess. Here is what happened. My computer was delivered to my house on Wednesday and Thursday and I wasn't there because I am in school...duh. So my plan was to go and pick it up Thursday night because I had a night class on Wednesday. So last night I made plans to go running with my sister. I left Benedum and walked to her place, got changed in all of my running clothes, left all of my stuff there (cellphone, wallet, etc.) because my plan was to run to my house on darlington, then drive Meghan back to her place and go get my computer from the FedEx place in the strip that closes at 8:30. Everything was going according to plan up until the point where I get my keys and drive meghan back to her dorm. We ate dinner, watched some tv and around 7:15 I go and try to find my keys. I can't find my keys for the second time in a month. I figured that they were in my school bag in Meghan's room. Crisis begins. I start freaking out because if I didn't go and get my computer by that night, they were going to ship my computer back to HP and then I wasn't going to see my computer for at least another week. None of my roommates are home and I don't have my phone to call anyone. effffffff!!!!!! I break in to Kari Cooper's room and go on her computer, log onto facebook and frantically try to find someone who has a car that has their number posted. No one does...except for sumter and that dipshit was working at telefact so he couldn't help me out. But I got Nick's number from sumter and gave him a call using meghan's phone only to get his voicemail. By this time it was about 7:45 and I was starting to have a panic attack. Luckily he called back and I told him my dilemma and he said that he would be there in 15 min. I love him. While I'm waiting for Nick, I realize that these people are going to ask for my ID when I pick up my computer and my ID is in Meghan's room and there's not enough time to make 2 stops. After putting on my thinking cap while sitting in my thinking chair I realized that I have a passport and that would be good. Right as nick gets there I'm running out the door with my passport and Meghan and the three of us are in the front seat of his truck riding around like a bunch of hillbillies going hunting for FedEx. We get to FedEx at 8:17. Yes!!!!!! My ass is saved all thanks to Nick Andes and that manly ass truck of his. He drops off Meghan and takes me back to my house. I look at my computer and turn it on. What do I see?? The picture of my sisters and I totally shit faced on their 19th birthday. Do you know what that means? My hard drive was completely intact!!!! All of that bullshit with ordering the external hard drive enclosures was a total fucking waste of time and money. But at least I have my stuff.

Now for the worst part of everything. My keys were not in my schoolbag. I told nick that they were there. They are in my house somewhere. And that is why I am a hot mess. The shit that I've been pulling recently is out of control and totally out of my character. So stay tuned for the next asshole move that I pull.

Good news: Nicole popped a baby boy named Cole, Kole? Something like that.

Fuck you AJ

Finally Fixed!

My computer is fixed and I'm getting it back tomorrow!!!!!!! I'm so excited! I can finally feel comfortable looking at porn again since I won't be using my professor's computer. In all seriousness though, I am fucking excited!!!!

Good News: I've already showered twice this week!
Bad News: I have to do about 9000 runs of that stupid pavement design guide program over spring break. Each runs takes about 1 minute to set up, 15 minutes to run, and 1 minute to extract the data. Do that math. That's 106 hours!!!!!! FML.



nataliedee.com

I showered twice this whole week

I just wanted to share with you all that I only showered twice in the past 7 days. I know what you're thinking. Kerri is a disgusting piece of shit. I know.

the hair cutting fiasco

My hair is significantly shorter than it was this past weekend because I'm an impatient dumbass. My hair was getting straggly and I decided that it was time for a trim. The last time I got my hair cut, it was by the lovely Megan Boerio and she did a fantastic job. I asked her to do it again and she was busy and wasn't able to be at my beckoning call. So instead of waiting for her to be free, or hell, actually going to get my hair cut at a salon, I took it upon myself to cut my hair. This may seem like a crazy idea to some, but I am actually quite a good haircutter. I've cut my mom's hair, both of my sisters, my friends and my own. I cut my own hair when it was much much longer and involved cutting in a straight line. Now that my hair is shorter it's a lot harder to manage. I forgot to take this into account and decided to cut anyway.

I get a shower and go to put some mousse in my hair after I comb it out and discover that there is no mousse in my closet. Where could it be? Hmmm.....It took me about 10 seconds to realize that someone in my family stole it. It wouldn't be a family visit if something wasn't broken or missing. I say screw it and start to cut. I started in the back first and then made my way to the front. About halfway through I realized that I fucked up royally and was going to have short ass hair by the time things were said and done. Since I had no mousse and because I wanted to see how bad it really was, I decided to straighten my hair. It took me a freakin hour to straighten my hair! I look at it and it's horrendous. Back to the scissors I go. I thought that I was done chopping after that, but, ofcourse, I was wrong.

Yesterday after I showered I got out and thought that my hair looked great, a little short, but great. AJ comes over and tells me that it's a lot longer in the back than it is in the front. Fuuuuuccckkkkkk... So I hand him the scissors and tell him to just make it even in the back. He didn't comb it or anything, just cut. It was the most unorthodox hair cutting ever. The good news is that my hair is finally even. The bad news is that my hair hasn't been this short since Jessica cut it...yikes!!


Edit as of 2.25.09 8:42 am: I have to edit this blog because of what I discovered last night. AJ fucked up and now my hair is shorter in the back than it is in the front. So what am I going to do? Nothing. If I keep trying to fix it I'll be bald by Friday. The moral of the story is to leave the hair to MB (or professionals, haha).

More good news: my hard drive enclosure things finally came and I'm going to send my computer back today to be fixed finally!!!!!

I'm obsessed with this song. The word that keeps being bleeped out is "ho" ...as in "don't trust a ho"

3oh3 - New Music - More Music Videos

It's under control

I think that I've finally figured out how to deal with this insane semester that I've been having. If I get to school around 7, hours before everyone else, I can get ridiculous amounts of work done. Getting there really early puts me in the zone by 7:30. There is no one around to distract me or talk to me in the office and no one is awake so I don't get phone calls, text messages, emails, or gmail chat messages. By the time everyone else shows up to the office I'm already balls deep into something and my concentration is less likely to be broken. The only problem is that it's 7 in the morning. It's difficult to get up at 6 in order to get here by 7 and even more difficult to stay awake once the morning coffee wears off. Another disadantage is the food situation. I eat breakfast before I leave and then I'm starving again at 9:30. This causes me to eat way too much food. So the kinks are still being worked out.

This leads me to my next topic. Since I will have a little more free time at night, I need to start crafting again. I haven't done anything since Christmas and I got this brand new sewing machine that I haven't even plugged in yet. I have like 3 or 4 crochet projects that are half done, pretty fabric to make pillows and a few other odd jobs. These are all projects that are waiting to be done, i.e. no money needs to be spent in order to finish them. Which one do I do? smells like a poll!!!


by the way still no laptop......i'm waiting for hard drive enclosure #2 to arrive. if this is the wrong one again i'm gonna grab a razor and take a hot bath.

A series of unfortunate events

As most of you know, I have had the semester from hell so far. My only saving grace is my friends and AJ, of course. I still don't know how he puts up with me and my psycho mental episodes. My lack of money, combined with my difficult courses and my demanding research tasks are always there, but these things that have happened to me so far just aren't right. I'm a little afraid to actually vent my frustrations because I'm not 100% positive who actually reads this. But let me say that calling my research "demanding" is more of an understatement than saying that I occasionally consume alcohol. I have had serious anxiety all semester, so much that it's even affected my menstrual cycle.

Let me tell you about the things that have happened in the past week starting with the first.

1. I went skiing about 3 weeks ago and haven't found my car keys since then. My dad tried to send me the spare and that apparently got lost in the mail.

2. My lovely sister totally bails on me for our fuel and fuddle night when I was having a really bad day. She said that she was sick, but I found out that she was planning her spring break trip with her friends. BITCH!!!

3. My brand new, sexy computer, that I bought in December, broke last Saturday morning. I called hp technical support and the guy said that I need to send it in to get it fixed. Luckily it didn't seem to be a problem with my hard drive so I should take it out so that it doesn't get wiped when I send it in.

4. I spend the entire weekend in Benedum redoing all of my work from the previous week because ALL of my research is on that thing and if a certain someone found out that I lost an entire week of work, I would probably be screamed at until my ears bleed in the most degrading manor possible.

5. I come home on saturday night around 10 and attempt to remove my hard drive once AJ provided me with the proper screwdriver. I take the panel off, I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking at and decide to call HP again for them to help me. To make a long story short. The first guy that I talked to told me all of the wrong things and that I absolutely need to send in my hard drive and there is a 99.9% chance that it will be completely erased. After almost having a breakdown I told this guy on the phone, who was really nice, that there had to be something I could do to get the data off of my hard drive. He told me about this website that I could go to and buy an enclosure to put my hard drive in and then hook it up to a computer and everything will be ok.

6. I order a hard drive enclosure from this website after spending over an hour trying to figure out the right one to buy. The hard drive enclosure comes, and it's the wrong one. Fuuuucckkk.

7. The day that my hard drive came (wednesday), I was in school all day, from 7am to 8pm. All I kept hearing all day was how nice and sunny it was. I didn't go outside the entire time and so I wasn't able to appreciate the nice weather. I leave at 8 and not only is it pouring rain, not only did I leave my umbrella at home, but....the wind was out of control and it was blowing the rain in places that I didn't even know could get wet. I got on a bus, soaking wet, with other soaking wet people who smelled like total balls. Then I got off of the bus and started my 0.5 mile walk in wet jeans. By the time I got home, I had that oh so sexy inner thigh rash. Fast forward an hour later and I realized that I had ordered the wrong hard drive thingy.

8. Yesterday I had the absolute worst morning ever. To sum things up, Somayeh and I were screamed at like we were dogs from multiple people and nothing that we did was our fault. I had an exam yesterday and I had planned on studying for it all day. But because of the events that unfolded in the morning, I didn't have a chance to. The only great thing that's happened to me in a while happened yesterday when I was at the end of my ropes. I almost had a breakdown in school yesterday. My exam was at 5:30 and the power went off in Benedum at around 4:50. It didn't come on again until around 6:30 which was the perfect amount of time to turn my exam into a take home exam.

And the tides turn...........

I looked at the exam and I would have totally tanked it so the power outage had to be a sign from God that he still loves me and feels bad that life sucks for me on a regular basis.

Then as I was leaving the house to go to AJ's contemporary ensemble, the conductor and composer of the concert (who happens to live next door to me) walks out and offers me a ride. The show was great and I went out for a couple beers afterwards.

Yesterday was the best and worst day ever. It started out horrible and it ended great. Hopefully the tides are turning and next week will be better.

Also, manik just told me that Titanic was the most beautiful movie that he's ever seen and that made my day.

25

I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and do a 25 random things list. I've given this some serious thought because I feel like most people I know are already aware of my quirks and embarassing traits. So I tried to think of things that people don't know. This shouldn't be a surprise, but a lot of them are about bodily functions. Apparently it's all I think about.

1 One year for halloween, I dressed up like Drew Carey because I was obsessed with his show. I even convinced Korynn to dress up like mimi.

2 I blow my nose in the shower because I think the heat and moisture help clear me out -sorry meg :)

3 For years I tried to suppress my farts, and now that I don't care anymore, no sound ever comes out.

4 I love mushrooms!!!!!!!

5 I had a pair of black pleather pants in junior high and wore them frequently

6 I hate showering and unless I'm trying to look good (which is rare). I usually only shower 5-6 times a week.

7 I also hate shaving my legs. Maybe if I had darker hair it would be an issue. I probably go through 4 or 5 blades a year.

8 I'm really obsessive about being organized in all aspects of my life

9 I've been a smart ass since I learned to talk

10 I clench my butt cheeks to the tunes of songs.

11 When I was a kid, I thought that braces and glasses were so cool and I wanted to have both, but it turned out that I didn't need either.

12 I love babies and want a lot of them.

13 It bothers me that I don't care about meeting my birth parents.

14 I flew on a plane by myself at the age of 5

15 I really love to sing and I wish I was good at it.

16 When I walk down stairs and no one is around, I hold my boobs so they don't bounce. I like to think they won't get as saggy if I do that.

17 I can't wait to graduate and move back home and mooch off of my parents for a few years.

18 I have the coolest grandparents ever!!!

19 In the past couple of months I changed my diet and started eating really healthy and now it hurts every time I shit.

20 I want to start smoking weed more

21 Whenever I find a food that I like, I eat it over and over again until I get burned out. Like when i discovered pierogies, I ate them multiple times a week for an entire year and then didn't eat them again for months.

22 I need to get 8 to 10 hours of sleep a night.

23 I've never been more stressed in my entire life than I have been over the past couple of months

24 I have an entire closet full of pants that don't fit me and I can't bring myself to get rid of them incase I loose 10 pounds

25 I stole some gum from Kmart when I was 7 and my mom caught me and made me go back in the store and tell them what I did.